Pete hit the 31st annual Crab Feast (Pete tried to turn it into a Crabfest, but the regulars were having none of that) in the swampland that is the Baltimore-D.C. area--the outdoor thermometer was clocking in at around 102 degrees, and it felt hotter. But despite the unpleasant heat, Pete felt like he was in the land of pleasant living--sadly Natty Bo's brother, Mr. Pringles, could not attend the event due to a previous engagement making people fat all over the country. (Pete also thinks that Pringles may be a gateway drug to crack, but he has no scientific evidence to back this claim up--at this time.) Crab Feast consisted of more crabs than a frat house (yes, crab jokes were just as plentiful as the real thing)--the crabs were steamed in custom-made beer kegs that had the tops sawed off and ovens attached to the bottom (fucking cool). Pete thinks that from a strictly food consumption point of view, it is more work than reward to get at the actual crab meat, but if you look at it as a social event, i.e. sitting down for hours and banging a mallet and ripping things apart with your hands while eating and talking, then it's worth it. (Pete's one-liner of the day came after being told that the yellow stuff was shit, Pete said: "Pete don't eat shit, Pete talks shit.") There were also mussels, lobster, shrimp, scallops, ten different salads, fried chicken, pulled pork sandwiches, and a bake-sale variety of desserts. There was also The Deep-Fried Turkey, and the fries cooked in the deep-fried turkey oil. Pete is at a loss as to why you would cook turkey any other way--or make fries in non-meat-soaked oil. It takes less than an hour to deep fry a turkey and the skin is crisp and the turkey comes out super juicy; one of the best turkeys Pete's ever had. Oh, and there was this thing called beer, lots of that thing. Not to mention many other potables like sangria and cocktails and even things for the recovering alcoholics, of whom there were plenty. Pete will update with actual photos from the event if he ever finds the time to download photos.