Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Yo, Bastille?

Even though Pete's real name is Pierre, he did not participate in any Bastille Day festivities for lunch--Pete did have seasonal fruits and vegetables (which is sort of French) and an almond butter and raspberry jam sandwich (which is not French at all)--because: (A) The Bastille doesn't exist; where it stood now stands a slightly generic French cafe. (B) The great siege resulted in the grand total of seven petty criminals being freed--more prisoners escaped on that TV show Prison Break. (C) The real, little known reason the storming started in the first place is that a distraught French peasant thought one of the Bastille's guards was fucking his wife so he charged toward the prison screaming "C'est tout fini!" The crowd thought he was referring to Louis XVI's reign and followed after him. (For real.) (D) Steak with Paris sauce and pomme frites (Pete's desired Bastille Day meal) is expensive and Pete is more pauper than prince. So unless Pete can find a cuckolded peasant to storm into a steakhouse with, Pete will not be participating this year. Pete did have a Kumquat Johnnie Walker Black Label gelato from Cones in the West Village; it was really flavorful and the scotch was not overpowering, however, it will not be moving on to the next round. Just doesn't compare to the Peanut Butter Banana from Blue Marble--which brought Pete back for another scoop the next day. (FYI: The picture is from the scene where Rick's mom prepares the French meal in Better Off Dead. Notice the Perrier, French dressing, and French's mustard.)


  1. I had ravioli so I totally fucked it up.

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  3. Chili-mango chicken sandwiches and fruit salad for Pete; we'll get them Frenchies next year. Actually, next year, Pete is going to France so he can French kiss some French girls with wet hair. Oh, and Pete would like to hit the Lexington Market for crab cakes and ghetto food-court fabulousness at some point. Let Pete know what weekends are good. Maybe check out an Orioles game too. Natty Bo consumption goes without saying.