LaCock will never be confused with LaLanne; yet, lots of lunching leaves Pete looking for innovative ways to eat right-eously and still be ready to join the frat boys for shirtless fun and games in the park. Luckily, Pete stumbled onto just the workout program: bronchitis. Pete found that two weeks of consistent coughing was the equivalent of two hundred sit-ups a day; then, when Pete finally caved in and saw the doctor, he began taking such a cocktail of drugs--Pete's fave contains grain alcohol, slippery elm bark, apple cider vinegar, cayenne pepper, and butterbur, among other things--that he's lost his appetite for lunch altogether. Plus, Pete is not allowed to consume alcohol or dairy. Pete's planning on losing at least five pounds and attaining abs that you can bounce quarters off of while playing quarters in the park with the shirtless frat boys. Pete thinks he may be able to replace this guy as Oprah's personal trainer with the proper marketing approach. Pete is open to suggestions, but so far he's come up with: Sick Abs in 10 Days! or Cough Your Way to Weight Loss.